And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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