I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
