I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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