im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
