I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
