Welp...herpes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize