I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
