And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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