Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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