Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
