my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
