Apparently you make a good broom.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
