Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize