After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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