her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
