All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
