i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
