dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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