I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
