I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
