I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
