how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I will be naked everywhere
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
