Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
