I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
