I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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