she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize