Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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