You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
