All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
