Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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