I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize