ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
