it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
