But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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