it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
