Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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