apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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