: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
