i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
