my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
