I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
