He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
