We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
