It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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