Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
there is glitter all over my balls
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
