we have pet lesbian snakes
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
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Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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