I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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