What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
