How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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