i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
