My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
