The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
