I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
