Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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