she smelled like a LAN party
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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