Little spoons don't ask big questions
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
