Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
