Don't worry. I has chaperone.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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