absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
